Man, where do I even start? I guess, you know, it's been a while since I wrote to you guys. I know almost nobody reads these, but there's a comfort in that almost. Like, no one reads these so I can write without pressure because I'm not trying to please anybody. It's been a lot recently, mentally and physically. Dejected, disillusioned, happiness, guilt, a little of everything, just a pinch~ I'm really grateful that I have this site up and running to just be my little personal space and talk about these things.

I think I've gone to Parkway Parade 3 times last month. Weird since, before then, I had never been there before. It has a rather lowkey mall too. A bit big, but not much going on to justify it. I had gone to donate my textbooks, but then I took a little detour to take a look around. Not even lying, the top floors look like an abandoned airport. I was really in awe, it was an air-conditioned loop of hallways that lead to escalators. From my exploring, they led to the parking lot, nail salons, tuition centres and ballet classes. They had a Cotton On, which is nice because the one in Bedok Mall was switched out. They're selling Miffy merch if anyone's curious! It's in that jersey microtrend that's been going on lately. Not my thing, but I can't deny Miffy's really cute. The mall had this cramped craft store that was a little dim. Kids craft supplies and paper materials, nothing too fancy or intimidating. Now that I speak of the mall, I've been thinking of going to City Square soon, since its renovations have been completed. It look incredibly beautiful now, like a futuristic solarpunk dream? Also Queensway, because it's really cool. Walking through malls is actually quite relaxing, and so is the trip to and from.

I went to the beach! Thankfully, when I was there, it didn't rain. It would've been a shame for me and the group of kids behind me. They were a rag-tag group that played volleyball and played in the water, very energetic. A part of me wanted to ask to join in, but I didn't ask. I went seashell collecting in the sand. No conch shells, no nautilus shells, and I was half-disappointed. But I did find this lovely spiral piece of shell that made my trip worth it. I had also gathered many regular flat shells, but those didn't excite me as much as the spiral did. I was having trouble collecting as I couldn't put my bag down. I didn't want it to get potentially stolen so I kept it with me and bending down with that weight on my hips made me light-headed. I think I had a fine day. I would love to go to the beach again. But this time, I could bring Rafiq, and I take a dip in the water. That would be nice.

I tried CD hunting. Damn, we got quite a number of vinyl stores, but no CDs? What a shame. Even when I was looking for some vinyls, barely any Emo! Look I know it's not a popular genre, but but... mannn. I have Fall Out Boy's Infinity On High on vinyl that I bought on impulse, and I've been thinking of making an entire FOB collection. But Infinity On High is the only vinyl of FOB they got. I did see a From Under The Cork Tree CD, but wrong format. I really like CDs, maybe I'll make a collection in the future, if they still exist. I've been trying to improve my music habits lately. I've moved from Spotfiy to YouTube Music. If you ask me, Spotify is definitely more equipped, but I don't trust them with my money at all. Eventually, I want to be able to detach from streaming services so that I can support the artists fully on bandcamp or whatsoever.

I went to Mercury Festival! I went last year, it was a moderately sized level of an event building in the middle of nowhere-Eunos, or Kembangan. I had never been to a local art market before, so I bought a ton of stuff, and quickly my money had poofed. Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't regret what I bought though! They're very lovely pieces and I am happy to wear them. But this year, last year was NOTHING compared to this year. The venue was so much bigger, so much more vendors and more accessible. This was much more of a palooza! I'm happy to see them grow and the support for local and/or small businesses rise. I tried to play it safe at first, so I went to booths whom I know of. However, I got a bit caught up on the way... However, Mercury os one of the best places to get unique items really, I love it so much! I know these types of markets are steadily increasing, and that makes me happy that small biz is getting more, well, biz! II'm one of their patrons! Since I have a ton of jewellery from last year, I thought to focus on stickers this year. THankfully, I mostly stuck to it! I also discovered many hidden gems of artists. Here's my haul!:
There was stuff I also had my eye on, but do to my budget constraints, I had to give up on. ChamJam is an artist I follow (and have bought many stickers from) who had a trinket box with readymade trinkets in it that I realllyy wanted. Super duper cute, but it would've chewed half of my budget, so it had to go. Kimi's Workshop was this really cute booth with these awesome lenticular prints and stickers (I didn't know you j=could do that) and they had a fish tin mystery box as well as a fresh seafood mystery box that had stickers, badges, prints, stuff. Well-themed packaging too! And lastly, wiggly fish keychains from Boneless Mochi. They even had a little gachapon to pick which keychain you might get. Sighh~ but I guess it's a relief I didn't get those items, because I remember a wave of guilt blanketing over me when I went home. I felt bad I had spent all this money on useless items like stickers, and I cried to Rafiq. He cooed me out of doldrums, he said my parents wouldn't have given me money for the festival if they didn't want me to spend it. So I felt better :o) Generally, go to these markets if you have great self-control and enough money, and you will have a whale of a time. I actually really did enjoy myself!

I tried Minecraft survival for the first time with Rafiq!! I think my first run went well because my partner is really skilled at the game. We have a little farm in front of the pond we first spawned at, and a house that leads to a cozy cabin in a cave. I'm proud of it, and it makes me happy. I tried survival by myself, and I'm so scared of caves. I'm not dexterous enough to swing my axe quickly before I get caught off-guard. So I'm just... trying to postpone it as much as possible. If I needed ore, I would just mine the exposed parts of the mountains or rock. I hope I get fine at killing skeletons and things... I kinda need to be in those caves~

Now, I haven't been feeling that good lately. I tried to paint but the subject matter stressed me out so much I cried. I just feel... a little claustrophobic. Something is constraining me from writing and drawing. I tried to write a song, as embarrassing as it is, and I just... it wasn't good enough. A part of me feels like I'm not good enough. I don't know who I am, how I really feel and pushing myself into a box makes me feel misconstrued. Like when I speak, you're not actually hearing what I'm saying but you predicted what I say to your liking nd assumed you were right. You know? My creations feel subpar, and maybe that's how everyone feels about my art. I have come back to the canvas, but finding time to paint is difficult. I've started reading again, a very welcomed change. I think I should be exercising, but that's neither here or there. I started journaling again, it's... interesting? My instinct isn't really to pick up pen and write on paper, but it seems to be working. Going outside helps too. I think I'm getting better, and I hope I get to create all the paintings and music I want to eventually.

Just had lunch, it's been a while isn't it? Many events, momentous or not, have come and gone recently, I don't know what to say. I'm not dejected or over the moon, I am in a limbo where there is calm ambition, but no urgency, yes? It's a nice place to settle in, as long as you remember to create before it's over. Before your stay here is over, I mean. I get I'm not making much sense, but unfortunately this is how I write haha~!

My last paper rolled in literally a week ago. It was my Biology Paper 1, Multiple-Choice, simple. Good way to end off O-Levels, something less tiring than the cramped weeks before. Less bloating means less sadness!! At the end, my friends and I tore up, shredded, our Entryproofs. I guess I was kinda happy about it. I was anticipating a hole of meaninglessness to appear in my heart since I had reached my final destination of my secondary school journey of four years. However, I wasn't expecting this loneliness. Do you know that sense of friendship? That comfort in knowing someone enjoys your presence? Well, for graduation night, the girls of course went to their friends' houses, and I didn't. I honestly felt left out. It was very unusual of me to be affected by this, I'm usually ok with my solidarity. I've been alone most of the time, I don't go out much with friends. So why did I suddenly feel so alone? I messaged some friends if I could join them to get ready for grad night. But honestly it felt like I was intruding, so I held back. Grad night itself was ok, I love the opportunity to dress up, and I know I don't fit in style-wise. I don't think I ever will, but at that moment I felt slightly ostracised haha~ I did take only a few pictures with friends and the food was actually super bomb (in a good way). That wild mushroom soup was so delicious I should've taken my friend's untouched soup (they really don't like mushrooms). Dessert was also really good, it was vanilla ice cream with this very rich, choclatey brownie. Very sweet, couldn't finish, but hey a 3-course meal after many exams is reward enough don't you think? I went home with my friend and by then, I had reassured myself that I wasn't so lonely, I have this friend here who likes me and offered me to take me home. It was a satisfying night. I did get a little overwhelmed at some point so the headphones were put on, but maybe that's just my sensitive little ears~ ears that listen to metal.

Then I went to the Singapore Writers Festival!!! I only went for the last day, but to be honest, I needed bedrest after grad night. However, I still had a lot of fun! I was supposed to go with my aunt but I went a little early at 10am. I also forgot that's the hour of work commute, so the MRT was full,,, but it cleared out once we reached Bugis. It was located at The Arts House so I chose to go down at Raffles Place, like what my aunt told me to. I did some slight exploration of the building - not as big as I would expect for a old PArliament building. I guess things were different back then. We were only allowed on the first and second level, the higher staircases were blocked off with velvet rope. Speaking of, the stairs were also carpeted with this beautiful, royal velvet. A little fancy, but no problem with that haha! I hovered in the festival bookstore majoritarily (is that a word?). It's quaint, and full of SEA authors, young adult fiction to children's books, as well as non-fiction. I was really tempted to buy books, the kryptonite of me and my partner's. However, my aunt messaged me to find them in the library. I haven't seen these authors though? Hopefully they update the catalogue at my local library. There was this book Chlorine by Jade Song that caught my eye, because the mermaid, but $33. There was this lovely zine from Bangkok comic artist Ping Sasinan! My first panel was about Sci-Fi in Asian languages. Fasinating topic, unfortunately at 11am, so not many patrons :o( One of the panelists said, mostly, he writes about the things happening around him, so of course, his culture is gonna blend in with his writing. The mixture of tradiiton and fiction is wholly intriguing. Even translation, when words in different languages do not have an English counterpart. Their essence is slightly lost in translation. Also, the sentence structure differences make things land different. I thought that was cool! As nerdy as it was. My aunt arrived with McDonalds and I was fed before attending a panel about book publishing. We arrived late so we didn't get much understanding, but what I caught from it is that publishers are looking for fresh, new plots, especially from local authors. Which is great!! We then went to another panel, and another, and one more. I learnt about food politics and writing, self-acceptance, healing through art, comic subject matter and etc. I learnt SO much and I had so much fun. It does depend on which time the activity is and what it's about, but you could have a good time! I recommend, if you wanna go next year for SIFA or SWF to choose afternoon programmes. Yes, the crowds are bigger but they bring the life into a programme, and the attendance, and you would have ample energy to interact with the topic. I wanna go again :oD I ate at Funan's hawker centre and DAMNN this bento I bought there was soooo goood, not bad for $7.80. Definitely the bang for your buck, the hawker food and the festival!!!

Currently, I just got home from the ICA hahaha,,, I had to get my stupid friggin' IC sorted out. The guy handling my biometrics was really nice and he said we could collect it soon from school of the post office. So there's that. This is a little weird, but the floor was carpeted like the airport. They also have a mascot that I think is a civet cat??? What is the ICA building? But yeah, hopefully I get it soon. We decided to eat outside today yayy!!! There were a class of kids having a learning journey at the Geyland Pusat Makanan hahaha~ Interesting idea to take them there. I hope they learnt something interesting. Recently, I have gotten hooked on this beetle friend ASMR. The noises it makes are so clickity, I really like it. I was listening to it at the start of this blog post, very calming and taps my brain very nice :o3 I also jumped headfirst back into Gorillaz! I know The Mountain is coming out soon, I've been liking their tracks so far, I literally spent midnight yesterday explaining the story to my partner. Let's just say I'm deep in it. I love Gorillaz!! I think, for future plans, just reading and colouring and sculpting from now on. I'm also getting a "new" laptop. As much as I hate to separate from this old guy, he has worn out his good years. He is decorated, and that will never change once I retire this geezer. Oh yeah!! I need to buy a new journal for field notes, I forgot. Maybe later. I'll write some other time, it has been an hour haha! Love, xoxo

Last week was horrid. Unlike the spliced nature of the exams I assumed we were gonna follow, they were squeezed into one week. A. Maths, Social Studies, Literature, Chemistry and Biology. Fortunately, the stress never came to me. I was just afraid what was going to appear in the paper. I had the right to worry, because some of those papers were. . . unparalleled. My Chemistry was surprisingly peasy, so wee were of to a great start. But then, A. Maths Paper 2 and Biology Paper 2 were buns. Biology Paper 2 made me particularly upset because I had studied very hard for Biology because of favouritism, and now I was destined for a lower grade then expectation. I was devastated, and multiple of my classmates went out of their way to ask if I was ok. . . I am fine, but I was disappointed. They're nice folks, so I felt better from their consolation. This Wednesday, I'll have my Melayu Kertas. Ughhhhh, but I have 4 more papers until my graduation night. At least I have a lot to look forward to!! I'll probably paint those canvases in my shelf, make sculptures, I'll get to wear this lovely dress, I am so excited to show it! I also get to hang out with my friend A again!

Speaking of which!!! I got to hang out with him after soooo longg, it was great! It was a day after Halloween, so I was little bummed about missing it because I had exams. So I dressed up as Fluttershy~ He was just himself, but that's ok! I felt like a little duckling following him around. We were just chilling, walking around malls and window shopping. I rememebr he took me to the Don Don Donki at the basement of Orchard Gateway, and there was a toy area with a ton of gachapon machines!!! I actually really wanted to try this machine with like food-themed piglets in it, but I didn't want to spend money on our trip today. I needed like 3-4 tokens for one turn of the machine where $1 = 1 token :((( Oh well, maybe another day. We also went to this toy shop selling a bunch of toys manufactured recently. That's how I figured that NeoPets is still a thing?? There were even Tamagotchis on sale. I was really tempted by the cutie Sylvanian Families. There was no dentist set, which I wanted. However, there was this adorable nursery set with baby critters and oh my gosh they were soo babyyy!!! I also saw a bunch of mermaid stuff and obviously, look at the theme of my website, I was so anamoured!! I saw this cute mermaid Hello Kitty. He really liked the LEGO cars and the tranformers, and we were just talking like forever. I didn't want to leave, but it was reaching my curfew, so I had to leave him :(( I got to hug him~~ I haven't been hugged in so long, it felt really nice. I can't wait for the next one!

I had 2 encounters last week that made me sad about myself. The first was on uhhhhh, I think Wednesday. This elderly woman introduced herself to me at the bus stop. I think I had A. Maths that day, and I was quite dejected from that paper. I didn't understand anything, my brain felt short-circuited. So I was a little confused when she approached me. She spoke Malay. Thankfully, my command of my Mother Tongue is still ok, so I could speak with her. She told me she lived at somewhere, and to be honest, I had no idea where that place was. . . So I brushed it off. In hindsight, I think she was trying to ask for directions. I mean, I didn't know that was either way, but I probably should've told her I didn't know where that was. So she could find help by somewhere else. She was nice too, oh. The second was when I was tired again from an exam. I was in the lift, and this guy wanted to come in, but the door was closing. I pressed the "open door" button, but he had already turned around and walked up the stairs. I felt bad because I live on the second floor. HE only lived on the third floor but still.

That's all I got today. I'm feeling under the weather, just like the actual weather. It's been raining heavily. It even rained with the sun out? In this economy, not even the rain can't deter the sun? Damn. Right now, it's looking quite grey outside my window. Hopefully it softens up because I don't wanna trench through the rain for my exams.

I thought exam season would be more taxing than this, but it hasn't caught to me yet. Or maybe I'm just good at time management (I highly doubt it). I have already studied the basics of Additional Maths, which means I have the green light to start on my A. Maths practice papers! Next week, my Elementary Maths papers will occur on Wednesday and Friday. I am confident, but you never know, right? I've been told not to stress, because it makes my stomach hurt, and I start to feel ill. Honestly, I haven't been haha ~ Tomorrow, I'm gonna drill E. Maths papers in my Ten Year Series, and maybe an A. Maths paper or two. I didn't do any work today, but I did learn something.

I finally wnet outside today, yippie!!!! Despite my abstinence from the outside grass, I actually really love the outdoors. I can't really explain it, but I feel that there's this barrier, wall blocking me from the world and me. Nature is a capricious creature, majestic as she is. It's unpredictable, and that's the part that scares me from going out there~! It's like when I stare at a blank slate, trying to think of something, but I can't even when I want to paint. I feel like a sack of potatoes watching my potential expire beyond my perspective, it's bizarre and disheartening. However, I told myself to go on a walk to the mall, and I followed through!

I am a little ashamed to admit, but I had immediately hit the thrift store. I don't need anymore clothes, I know. But, I have been thinking of cosplaying. It looks so fun dressing up as fictional characters! I want to do that too!! I already had the ingredients for an Equestria Girls cosplay, Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy. This was my go-to thrifting slash clothing store, so I know I was gonna find some steals. I had bought my prom dress here, and my partner really likes it when I put it on haha ~ Anyway, the premonition rang true, there were lovely, solid finds. My mission was to get a green or pink skirt. I had found the former wedged between some tops and skirts. I knew it was the one, it had this subtle floral tone to it, as well as a milky, seafoam paint colour that leaned toward green more than blue. Honestly, I didn't try it on in the store because they only had 2 mirrors. However, when I got home, it fit perfectly on me !

After somewhat struggling to buy a pair of preppy knee-length, pink socks, I had acquired a pair. I then strolled the mall, perused the selection of stores. It had been a while since I'd been here so there were bound to be some changes. Thankfully, the thrift store and sock house were still kicking! They did change a food chain to Hot Tomato. I've never tried this place, and I can't say I will. I'm open-minded to it though, but I would not have to eat alone. A friend would have to come with. Additionally, they changed an apparel chain to a store called KKV. And man, this place is an impulse destroyer. At least for me! It had a wall of popular plushies, including My Little Pony (Classic Series) plushies with Pinky Pie and Fluttershy. They look a little off, so I wasn't that tempted but wow, this place does not hold back, it was a child's paradise. They sold LEGO sets, blind boxes, jewellery, nail polish, journaling stationery, etc. I didn't know this type of place existed!! I was in awe walking around the premises. I did then find this Magical Girl stand and yeahhh,,,, I did cave. I didn't buy the notebooks though, I held my breath and bought these glittery pins. Now, my bag is populated with handmade pins, so these puppies will be emblazoned on my jacket. I am such a sucker for glittery magical anime girls!!

I was then heading home. My purchases have been safely folded into my neat bag as I boarded the second level of the bus. I leaned into the window, and that was when it hit me. Today has been one of the better days this year, and all I did was go outside. I think we underestimate the power of fresh air, don't we? There's this aura around this moment, that moment when you're going home with your things. A pang of satisfaction mixed with a tint of melancholy anchored in your heart. Like, you didn't want it to end, but it's over. I think about all the good days I've had in my life, and I feel upset. How they're only memories, and that I can let go of them anytime. That one time my family went to the Marina Cove Playground before going to eat McDonalds together, when we went to the Indonesian volcanic hot spring together (that water was damn hot), when we used to go to Mustafa together. There's more of course, but they're too fuzzy to remember any true details. They all live in my efficient head, that overrides when there isn't enough space left. It's hard to accept that the only way forward is to continue creating good memories with my family as long as tangible objects that remind me. I miss those days, and I wish I could bring myself to go out with my parents more. As much as I brush them off as a teenager, I know when I grow older, I'll miss them. Not to end on a downer, but It's how I've been feeling. I'm afraid of them dying, and about the future ahead.

Not to make you entirely sad, I am working on a drawing. It includes some familiar cartoon characters in my style! From left to right: Geo(Team Umizoomi), Blueberry Muffin(Strawberry Shortcake), Jenny Wakeman(Life of a Teenage Robot), Tootie(Yo Gabba Gabba)

As for the cosplay, I'll try my best to emulate my inner-Fluttershy! So there's this indie rock festival happening soon, and I would love to attend. Unfortunately, it's beyond my curfew, but if it doesn't fall through, perhaps Fluttershy is coming to Baybeats 2025? I mean, if we can't see the performances, maybe it'll be nice to just walk around the Esplanade and try the fringe activities with my friend. I don't know! I haven't asked my parents yet because I'm slightly afraid of their opinion, but I'll have to eventually right? I've been typing for a while now, it's probably time to hit the hay. Goodnight reader, cherish your loved ones xoxo

Listening to: Bitch With A Gun ⋆｡°✩ Jazmin Bean

I am a lucky duck, I don't acknowledge as often as I should, you know? If you can read this, you know you're a privileged goose, to be able to have an internet connection and use Neocities. I say so, currently, because, when I was younger, I fell into a hard suicidal bender. Not an actual bender, I just love that word. I wouldn't call it a depression, but I lost my interest in drawing, I couldn't motivate myself to do anything, even shower, I stayed in bed so lethargic. I didn't feel like I had a purpose. I felt as if I was a human fridge, opened up and my guts are there for the taking, grabbed and pulled until I'm a hollow shell of my former self, bleeding and helpless. Being taken advantage of is was one of my triggers, I'm getting better at responding to favours from certain people. It feels so long ago that, it almost feels like it didn't happen. It was only, what, 3 years ago? Yet I don't feel connected to my past self. Almost as if I was faking it. But it did happen, my teacher had to pull me out of classes, I didn't go to school. That was real, you know? Don't worry, I totally ok now, well, not really, but you know what I mean. Just a few panic attacks here and there. Still no scars, that's got to be an achievement right?

Okay, let me actually talk about my life haha ~ It's currently national exam season so I am being cooked by the flames of burnout right now, my crumbs. I have never handcuffed myself to the chair for a proper studying period before, but now I have! Studying is actually not that bad, I just need some background music to keep me focused. I have finished all 22 chapters of Chemistry, which I am glad of! I'm on the highway to the finish line of Biology. One more chapter to go. Reproduction of Humans was kind of a bore, I was mentally snoring throughout. Not that it isn't cool, I've just been batting my head against this thick textbook for a month now, nothing personal. I do find the pregnancy part so enlightning though! Females are such creatures, they're incredibly beautiful and strong. How some people choose to have more than one baby is really beyond me, in a positive way, they're so enduring. I'm a female myself, and I've been thinking of kids. That maternal instinct in me is fluttering like a pearl necklace, and my partner wants to have a family too. Maybe one day I'll submit to my hormonal spikes and make a baby someday, I can imagine it.

I super duper scooper really wanna draw. I discovered Yeon Yeoin's work a few days ago, and I have been absolutely face-melted. Please check out her work, she's such a beast. I am such a big fan of Surrealism, and it got me inspired to pick up my slack. I have so much incompleted sketches in my sketchbook, I wanna devote myself to them once exams are all over. Originally, I wanted to share my work with you guys and the internet but I veto'ed my own decision. With all this AI stuff going around and my general hatred for taking pictures of my artwork, I'm holding them back for myself. Maybe in a fit of exhilaration, I'll update my Instagram account. That's unfortunate isn't it? I love all the human artists out there working hard to create. I do hope you guys catch my artwork sometime in the future though. I would love to inspire more artists like how Yeon Yeoin did for me, that would be a gift that keeps on giving. These itchy hands are begging for a creative session. Goodnight guys, I hope you're safe, xoxo

For a while, I struggled to really understand art. I know it's a creative way to express a person's inside insanity, turmoil and trauma and even just tomfoolery! Art has many uses. I just, can't really grasp the "getting it" part. It's the connections people create between unrelated objects and scenarios that surprises me. "What can an object or word choice say about the character?" or "what does the state of the object say about the artist?". I remember this one time. I am very into horror werbseries and I yum it up, especially if it uses unprecendente premises or techniques to deliver the scares. GEB Operating System is a YouTube horror series that I happened to stumble upon because of Tedorate. In one of the last episodes, a turtle in a box asks Nora to save Gua for him. Nora goes out into the world and enters an abandoned-looking house. The walls are caked in dirt and rust, and so is the floor. The doorways a just black, with no way of entry to look inside. You just have to brace as you creak into each room as the screen fades in-between transitions. We find a metal table, which is incredibly clean, actually. Then we find Gua, the rabbit. Their head is locked in a type of headlock, before we heard the gate rustling.

Or a classic example, "The Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dalí. I'm pretty sure everyone can recognise this painting, art enjoyer or not. One of the most recognised Surrealist artworks in the world. Clocks are melting in the painting in a deserted landscape. What an interesting name, the persistence of memory. That means an unforgettable time in life, a moment that u cannot forget. Is that why the clocks are melting? Because time ceases to exist in a memory, it is stuck, unmoving. I don't know, and I'm sure it has been analysed to death by now. I don't bother to read any theories though. I enjoy the painting the way it is, unexplainable. There's a stroke of je ne sais quoi that draws me in. I just made 2 art puns in a sentence hehe ~ You get what I'm coming from right? You can keep staring at it, and it will never get old, literally and figuratively.

Where am I getting at here? What am I trying to say? For a while, I struggled to understand why this website even exists. I knew I wanted to make a website, I just didn't know what to code in it. But I think, now I kinda do? My life does not hold weight to people who don't know who I am, like you reader (if you don't know me in real life). However, knowing my existence at least grazed upon so many eyes is so, heartwarming. I don't want to be famous or popular, but I would like some people to recognise my work or my name, and my life as I know it to be archived here until Neocities follows in Geocities shadow. The internet has become a cesspool we are slowly distancing ourselves from, year after year. However, the internet never forgets. So, if this website outlives, or, when this website outlives me, will you still come back to it to understand me? Will you see my fingerprint in all this? I made this blog page, I chose the background, the content colour. Can you really separate the artist from the art if it tells you about the artist? I'm existential today, I'm sorry. xoxo